What You Can't Say Sober
by F. W. Bourdillon
Summary: There were these small things you couldn't say with a sober mind. [Kakuzu x Hidan] [KakuHidan] [Rated for Sexual Content]
1. Chapter 1

-1**What You Can't Say Sober**

**By F. W. Bourdillon**

There were these small things you couldn't say with a sober mind.

**Warning**: Contains Shonen-ai / Yaoi and contains sexual situations

**Word** **Count**: 1035

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto and all rights belong to Kishimoto

**Chapter One**

**A/n**: Yet another story started a long time ago, about 4 or 5 months ago. I just decided to finish it, so ignore the poor writing.

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Hidan let out a loud laugh leaning against his partner, "I'm so happy to be here with you…." he slurred, the smile on his face clearly saying that he was way too drunk for his own good.

Kakuzu merely rolled his eyes figuring it was about time he took Hidan back to their room.

Even though Hidan was being more obnoxious than when he was sober (the man just wouldn't stop talking! At least he wasn't complaining) Kakuzu still found the his behavior quite amusing.

"Come on Hidan, I think its time we head back." Kakuzu said standing up in his chair.

Hidan also stood his body weaving back and forth but as soon as he took a step forward he tripped on himself and ended up pressed against Kakuzu's back.

The silver-haired man was too drunk to notice the stitch mans muscles tense at the contact, instead Hidan looked up only to see the back of Kakuzu's head.

Letting out a drunken laugh and a smile to match, Hidan nuzzled his face into the taller mans back affectionately, Kakuzu flinched, "Ehehehehe…Kakuzu, has anyone told you how-how totally sexy you are…?"

One of Kakuzu's five hearts practically had an attack at that moment, okay, Hidan was a lot more than he had thought, "Lets go." he grumbled grabbing a hold of Hidan's arm and dragging along the religious drunk.

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With almost an hour gone by Kakuzu had finally managed to get his partner to their room.

The only reason that it had taken so long was because all along the way Hidan had continuously snuck away when Kakuzu had, had his back turned.

So with all the detours, the stitch man had never been more relieved to have a bed to sleep in (he was thankfull for Hidan's bitching earlier that day to get a hotel room).

Kakuzu ignored Hidan as he stumbled across the room to get to his own bed, instead focusing on throwing his Akatsuki cloak onto a nearby chair and readying himself for sleep. Only to stop when he felt weight dip into the side of the bed behind him.

Though he automatically knew what drunken zealot was there.

"Hidan, what are y---" he stopped in mid-sentence to see Hidan clad in only boxers and….posing in a very suggestive manner.

"Hey Kuzu…" Hidan drawled now crawling to the man in question on all fours, "We should…" he interrupted himself by falling into a small fit of giggles, "…We should have s-some fun." he laughed pulling himself into Kakuzu's lap and wrapping his arms around the strong neck.

Kakuzu stared at Hidan with a mixed expression of disgust and shock; last time he would **ever **take Hidan drinking, he decided to himself, "Hidan go sleep." he said simply trying to push the other man off but the others arms only tightened around his neck.

Hidan gave a pouty face, "Dun be like that Kuzu…" Hidan said before reaching up and pulling down the black fabric covering Kakuzu's face.

And before Kakuzu could react he felt Hidan's lips pressed up against his own, his eyes widening considerably in response.

The religious mans tongue slid over Kakuzu's lips for a brief moment before beginning to trail along the stitching on his cheek, his tongue pushing a little harder along the slit while doing so.

Kakuzu made another attempt to shove the silver-haired man off but stopped when he felt Hidan's tongue making small delicate circular motions along the slit and stitching, in this making a low grunting noise escape from Kakuzu's throat.

This Hidan's intoxicated smile widen, he pulled away for a second and Kakuzu could tell those eyes staring into his own had less than half a clue what was going on.

And before he knew it Hidan's lips were pressed back to his and tongue demanding entrance into the stitch-mans mouth, Kakuzu actually obliged parting his lips ever so slightly and in allowed Hidan to hungrily twist his tongue in Kakuzu's mouth.

Kakuzu could feel Hidan beginning to grind his lower body into his own growing arousal.

In reality, Kakuzu was shocked by his own actions, he really couldn't believe this was happening; he couldn't even think about what was so very wrong with this (but why did it feel so right?) in between Hidan's hot mouth and the rock that was forming in his pants.

But just as Kakuzu was ready to respond to Hidan's actions, the religious mans head slumped against his shoulder and his body fell limp suddenly.

Looking confused Kakuzu slid his hand under Hidan's chin and lifted his face only to growl in annoyance as to see the silver-haired man passed out a snoring lightly.

'Idiot' he though to himself before letting out a sigh and picking up the smaller figure bridal style and making a short walk to lay the man in his rightful bed.

Kakuzu tried to rise after laying Hidan down but found Hidan had made his arm a nice pillow as he nuzzled into Kakuzu's arm and let out a content sigh.

Kakuzu groaned in aggravation, even drunk the religious zealot liked to make his life a living hell, he sighed in annoyance. He looked at Hidan for a moment and his eyes softened, 'I don't think I've ever seen Hidan this…peaceful before.' he thought with another sigh and laid down next to the religious man.

Kakuzu knew he wasn't going to get much sleep his thoughts were too busy drifting to the incident that had happened only moments ago, he wanted to know why his lips were burning with a strange sensation and everywhere Hidan had touched him sent sparks through his body, he also wanted to know _how the man got him that damn aroused_.

'Asshole' he thought in a more caring way then intended as his fingers brushed over Hidan perfect facial features, he laid a gentle kiss on the mans forehead.

In this the sleeping form moved closer to Kakuzu resting his head on the mans arm, Kakuzu could feel Hidan's chest rise and fall against his own.

Kakuzu put an arm around Hidan, closing his eyes hoping to get at least a small amount of sleep.

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**Next Chapter: **

Hidan had been noticing these small changes in Kakuzu; they were fighting less and less, Kakuzu let him go about his rituals without a single complaint, and so forth…and it was pissing him off to no end.


	2. Chapter 2

-1**What You Can't Say Sober**

**By F. W. Bourdillon**

There were these small things you couldn't say with a sober mind.

**Warning**: Contains Shonen-ai / Yaoi and contains sexual situations

**Word** **Count**:

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto and all rights belong to Kishimoto

**Chapter Two**

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Hidan woke up feeling strangely relaxed considering how much his head hurt, but aside form that he felt like he hadn't has a rest that good in a _long _time.

He sat up wincing a bit at a strong pain shot to his head, "What the hell…" he muttered in annoyance before unfocused eyes came upon the figure that belonged to his partner; who was, at the moment sitting on chair by a table and scribbling on a ledger with a pen.

"Hey asshole!" Hidan called to Kakuzu unnecessarily loud, especially with Kakuzu less than 15 feet away.

"What is it dumbass?" came Kakuzu's deep voice his eyes not tearing away from the paper he was currently writing on.

"What the fuck happened last night? My head like it's fucking ready to tear itself apart!" he complained resting a hand on his forehead trying to recall last nights events. He only remembered going out to drink with Kakuzu…

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_Kakuzu stared at Hidan, "I don't know how you can consume that much alcohol and not already be passed out…"_

_Hidan seethed at Kakuzu glaring, "Fuck you." he said taking another drink._

"_You should stop before you get piss drunk, I'm not going to lug your sorry ass back to the hotel." Kakuzu replied glaring at Hidan with annoyance._

_Hidan snickered lightly to himself, hell, Kakuzu was paying, he was going to enjoy himself, "Shut the hell up! What are you my wife?" he retorted beginning to feel a small tinge in his head and his thought becoming less clear with each drink he downed._

_Kakuzu just shook his head at the other man._

_Hidan took another drink but stopped only to let out a loud laugh, "Heeeey fuuucker…" he drawled._

_Kakuzu blinked at the silver-haired man, "What is it Hidan?"_

"_Tonight sure is GREAT isn't it? Just lookit the stars!" he yelled staring at the ceiling lights._

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After that Hidan didn't recall anything, but for what he did remember he cursed himself for being such an idiot, and in front of Kakuzu no less! He prayed the man didn't say anything about his behavior the previous night.

"Well Hidan…" Kakuzu paused placing his ledger and pen down on the table, in this moment of silence Hidan braced himself for the worse but didn't show it, "You just about drank more than half your weight alcohol and started acting like an idiot." he paused again, "More of an idiot"

Kakuzu didn't think it a good idea to tell Hidan what had gone on the night before, afterall what was he supposed to say anyways, _"Well, you were so drunk you were hitting on me, but that's not it, we almost ended up banging each other right there on my bed. Oh yeah, and I became your personal pillow to! We ended up sleeping together in the same bed, I just left before you woke up!" _Kakuzu shook his head at his own thoughts, but wither way, it would not bode well in Kakuzu's opinion.

Hidan was relieved to find that Kakuzu hadn't said anything _too bad_, he was used to being called an idiot by the other…and he was also used to bitching about it as well, "Shut the fuck up Kakuzu! The only fucking idiot here is you!"

Kakuzu just ignored the other man picking up his ledger and pen and starting to write again

"Hey! Stop ignoring me asshole!" he was greeted by silence. Hidan growled in annoyance and was about to yell again when he realized something, or he realized a _lack _of something, "WHAT THE FUCK!?" he yelled loudly making Kakuzu send him a sharp glare.

"What the hell is it **now **Hidan?" he asked.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY CLOTHES!!!" Hidan yelled even louder than before.

The stitch man froze, he couldn't tell Hidan why his clothes were missing, so he improvised, "You took them off before you went to bed." he replied trying to keep his voice as calm as possible.

"Yeah right!" came Hidan's snappy remark, "I bet you took them off and tried to do something to me last night you perv!"

Kakuzu resisted the urge to say "other way around you idiot" but instead settled for letting out an agitated sigh and glaring at his smaller partner, "Why, in gods name, would I EVER want to do that to you of all people? I think you're being a little to full of yourself Hidan." he replied turning back to his paper and pen.

Hidan crossed his arms over his chest and simply sent one of his infamous glares, that were strictly used on Kakuzu, to the man in question.

He couldn't actually say anything without it sounding like he wanted Kakuzu to do something to him, he didn't want the taller man to think so anyways, if anything, Hidan thought that Kakuzu might start to avoid him and he _really _didn't want that.

So a small silence settled into the room before Hidan broke it by standing up and grabbing his clothes and walking to the bathroom yelling, "I'm going to take a shower you ass!" and slamming the door.

Kakuzu stopped writing yet again and let out an exaggerated sigh leaning back in the chair, something was definitely wrong with himself, when Hidan had yelled he didn't feel the slightest bit of annoyance that he usually got when he heard the other mans complaining.

His thoughts ever so slowly drifted back to last night when Hidan had tried to seduce him. And it _worked_.

He could explicitly remember what Hidan's warm lips felt pressed against his own, and running his hands along the other mans soft face, he could remember every little detail that had went on during those few minutes.

_But most of all he could remember how much hearts ached for something he knew he couldn't have._

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At had been three weeks and Hidan was beginning to get annoyed, he noticed it very slightly at first thinking maybe it was his imagination, but as time progressed these small changes became more and more apparent.

They were fighting less and less; Kakuzu would let Hidan have the last word in their argument, which had never happened before a couple weeks ago. Sure, he didn't like Kakuzu constantly making him look like a retard but it was so fucking annoying that the other man barely put up a fight!

When Hidan was doing his rituals Kakuzu would be quiet and wait without making a single complaint. Hidan had thought at one point that it might have been nice if Kakuzu would just leave him alone and let him do his rituals to Jashin but now he realized how much he missed those arguments.

Hell! The man even let him preach about his religion and try to convert Kakuzu and he wouldn't even say anything! It was always replied with a number of "…" and "We'll see." there wasn't anymore of the "Shut the hell up Hidan, I don't want to be a part of your stupid ass religion."

Kakuzu had become so damn…depressing lately! Kakuzu barely even talked to him now! It was like the man was constantly in thought or something!

And it was pissing Hidan off to no fucking end!

Hidan would never say it aloud but he come to someone…like the asshole of a partner he was used to, not this quiet and agreeing one.

And for some unknown reason, he felt sort of sad to see Kakuzu like that.

But Hidan was going to get to the bottom of this, he was getting really annoyed and was ready to try and kill Kakuzu if he didn't know what was making the taller man act so strange soon.

So they had just finished up a their mission and were now heading back to the Akatsuki.

"Kakuzu! I'm fucking tired! Lets take a fucking break! We've walking forever now!" Hidan complained hoping to get some sort of insult from Kakuzu but all he got was, "We'll stop soon then."

Hidan stopped in his tracks and crossed his arms over his chest, Kakuzu stopped as well and turned to Hidan giving him a questioning look.

He was slightly shocked, but didn't show it, when Hidan stomped to him and grabbed him by the collar and put their faces mere inches from one another, "What the hell is wrong with you lately!?" Hidan asked not evening bothering to hid his aggravation.

Kakuzu simply blinked, "Nothing."

"Nothing!? Nothing my ass!!! You've been acting weird! When we argue you don't even bother to try to put up a fight and you're fucking patient with my bitching and my rituals!" he shouted glaring at Kakuzu.

Hidan stiffened when he felt Kakuzu's hand on his cheek, the stitch mans thumb gently stroking it in an almost _affectionate _way.

"Wh-what are you d-doing a-asshole…?" Hidan stuttered trying to sound angry and not to stutter but found himself sounding more shocked than intended.

"Did you know you're beautiful Hidan?"

Hidan's breath caught in his throat, "Wh-what?" he asked wondering if he had heard correctly.

Kakuzu said nothing but continued to stroked Hidan's cheek with his thumb giving the smaller man a saddening and slightly mournful look.

Hidan swallowed, "S-stop being such a p-pansy Kakuzu…!" he said once again trying to sound angry but failed and after those words escaped his lips he almost felt regretful on the off chance that his words would somehow hurt Kakuzu.

"What the hell? Why the hell would I care if Kakuzu was hurt or not!?" the religious zealot thought to himself.

Kakuzu's hand fell from Hidan's cheek, "Maybe you're right…" he said, he knew he could never be close to Hidan no matter how much his heart and body carved it, so he would try to forget those feelings for Hidan, maybe then he could go on without that sensation prickling in the very depths of his heart every time he looked at the silver-haired man.

And without words or an explanation Kakuzu began to walk away leaving a very dumbfounded Hidan standing their on the road.

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A/n: Kakuzu probably seems out of character so let me just sum things up here; Kakuzu likes Hidan but doesn't really know how to deal with it, sure he's probably been in love a long time ago but if anything he's forgotten what it feels like so he's having difficulties with it.

That's all I have to say…

**Next Chapter**:

Gradually everything has gone back to normal, they fight, Kakuzu is an impatient bastard again, everything is like it used to be…but Hidan wants to know what was up with that incident on the road.


	3. Chapter 3

**What You Can't Say Sober**

**By F. W. Bourdillon**

There were these small things you couldn't say with a sober mind.

**Warning**: Contains Shonen-ai / Yaoi and contains sexual situations

**Word** **Count**: 1,826

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto and all rights belong to Kishimoto

**Chapter Three**

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Hidan's gaze was fixated on the back of Kakuzu's head.

It had already been three weeks since the incident on the road and gradually everything had been returning to normal or more like everything was practically reverted back to how they first met, yelling and cussing.

Kakuzu was back to getting mad at Hidan's constant bickering and how much time his rituals consumed; the two were back to throwing insults at each other o arguing about something irrelevant, of which, like before, Kakuzu always won.

Hidan was back to yelling and complaining and having Kakuzu deny any of his requests, such as stopping for food, rest, or anything else that wasted money or time.

So everything was back to normal and there were no problems…

Except that Hidan still wanted to know what was up with that events that had conspired on the road, he wanted to know why Kakuzu had given him such a longing look (especially since Hidan had only seen a small variety of emotions from the stitch man) and he wanted to know what that gentle touch on his cheek had meant.

Reaching up and gently touching the exact spot that his partner had caressed, Hidan couldn't keep down the blush that formed on his cheeks at the memory of Kakuzu's thumb stroke his cheek with such care and gentleness. He also couldn't help but remember how Kakuzu left him _craving_ that same soft touch to never end.

Hidan couldn't deal with this want that bubbled in the pits of his stomach when Kakuzu was close. He wanted answers. He _needed_ them. And he was determined to get some answers…

As for Kakuzu, he simply wanted to forget the whole thing in itself; he didn't want to care for Hidan, he didn't want to feel the need to be near him, he didn't want to feel somewhat happy waking up to Hidan's beautiful face. He didn't want to feel _anything_ at for him.

But he did.

And he did care for Hidan, and he did want to be near Hidan, and he did want to wake up to see Hidan sleeping peacefully, so close but out of his reach. And regardless of what he told himself, he did feel _something_ for Hidan and he _liked_ this feeling (though he would never admit to it) because it made him feel more **alive** and **human** then he had ever felt before.

The two walked in silence and Kakuzu was now vaguely aware that Hidan was staring at him from behind. So stopping in his steps he turned his head sending a slight, if not slightly pathetic, glare over his shoulder, "What is it Hidan?"

Hidan flinched as soon as Kakuzu spoke automatically snapping out of his thoughts, "What?" he asked harsher than intended sending a glare (which also seemed as weak as Kakuzu's) to meet the eyes of the one who had plagued his thoughts for the past few weeks.

"You were staring at me." Kakuzu replied now turning around fully to face Hidan and crossing his arms over his chest in slight annoyance.

Hidan only scowled in response to Kakuzu's actions and words, "No I wasn't! Besides how could you tell anyways!? You had your back turned to me!" he said while mimicking Kakuzu and crossing his arms over his chest as well.

Kakuzu sighed in aggravation, "Any **good** fighter could tell when someone is staring at them Hidan." He shook his head, "But then again, you wouldn't really know that now would you?"

Hidan raised his fist taking a few steps forward , he grabbed the front of Kakuzu's collar and glared intensely opening his mouth to make a snide remark only to stop when realizing how close he was to the other.

There was a long silence and neither dared to move; not only because of the pleasant sensation of breathes intermingling and faces only centimeters apart but as well as the uneasy feeling coming off from either and setting in like a thick fog.

Hidan slowly looked up Kakuzu directly into his eyes to see those strange white pupils of his staring down at him while an unreadable expression and ever-so-slowly Hidan's eyes trailed down to the stitch mans' clothed mouthed and…he had a very sudden craving to know what it would feel like to kiss Kakuzu.

With a slightly trembling lower lip and only being vaguely aware what was going on, Hidan found himself tip-toeing and leaning into Kakuzu with half massed eyes only to close when his lips met with the cloth covered ones of Kakuzu.

Kakuzu stood still for a brief moment as if comprehending what was going on, before he pulled Hidan closer to deepen the kiss, and before either knew what was going Kakuzu's mask had been pulled down and the two had started in a vicious fight for dominance with their mouths, the smaller mans hands on either side of Kakuzu's face.

It lasted for a few seconds, though, to them it seemed eternal…The kiss broke with both of them panting for air in ragged breathes.

They both stared at each other for a moment, Hidan wondering what had just happened while Kakuzu was wondering if he had really just done what he thought he had done as well as _why_. Afterall he had decided to up give on Hidan knowing that he could only ever be near the other male and nothing else…but this _was_ something else, so he found himself questioning the logic going through his mind at the moment.

Hidan blinked a few times, a small red tint coming up to stain his cheeks when awareness hit him, but, being who he was, he wouldn't act like some pansy-ass little girl who just received their first kiss (which it had been).

Giving a quick shove to Kakuzu to distance himself from the other (though he was the one who was pushed back and Kakuzu simply remained immobile) he coughed, hoping it would fill it some of the awkward silence; which really, only helped slightly.

"Well…" the silver haired man looked away noticing he had nothing to say before turning to Kakuzu and giving a feeble glare, as if trying to act intimidating, "Lets go already!" he shouted.

Kakuzu snapped out of his thoughts, his head jerking up slightly in surprise, "…You were the one stalling us." He said giving a not so convincing glare.

Neither spoke for the rest of the day, just walking on with nothing but the voices of their own thoughts rushing their minds.

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They reached a hotel by nightfall, it had gone decided that even without words they both needed a comfortable resting place to straighten (even if 'straight' wasn't **exactly** the words going through either of their heads at the moment) out their thoughts.

They sat there, Hidan on the bed reading his bible to himself mentally, while Kakuzu sat at the near by desk writing on a ledger with a pen and punching in numbers with abnormal speed into his small calculator.

Of course, even in the quiet nature of the room and how engrossed into their own business as they were, there was still that small _something_ tugging at both of the individuals heads; Hidan wouldn't want to admit it or even ask about it as he wasn't used to this feeling and it left him feeling somewhat weak and exposed while Kakuzu would rather just drop the whole situation in itself and hope to forget about it in the near future.

In the stillness that held in the air of the room, Hidan couldn't help but think about the incident on the road that had happened weeks ago for the second time that day; he still hadn't gotten any answers (though he had an idea, though he was almost terrified to bring up the subject) and now he had more questions than ever.

Hidan was fighting with himself at the moment, questioning if he should bring it up, he thought about his options; he could ignore it and pretend nothing happened, he could never speak to Kakuzu ever again-which seemed impossible considering the silver-haired man's nature, or he could bring up the subject and get the answers he wanted.

Right now he was debating through options 1 and 3.

Taking a deep breathe Hidan swallowed preparing himself for the unease he knew was sure to follow as soon as his question left his mouth, "Kakuzu." He said in an almost too stern voice; great now he _sounded_ like the taller man.

Kakuzu didn't turn to face his partner but tensed a little, even if it wasn't noticable, "What?"

"So…like what was up with today?"

Kakuzu almost chocked; that had **not** been what he thought the silver-haired man was going to say, but he strained himself, instead his hand stopped with its writing and he slowly turned his head to Hidan looking at him over his shoulder; Hidan was sitting there his expression holding indifference.

'_What **was** up with today…?'_

Kakuzu didn't even know the answer, so he turned around and muttered quietly, "I don't know." His eyes falling on the pen in hand as his body refused to let him even move.

Hidan scowled, obviously not satisfied with the answer, "Like hell!" he shouted unnecessarily loud, Kakuz made no movements and Hidan continued, "You HAVE to know!" he protested, _'because I don't…'_ he thought to himself subconsciously.

Kakuzu stayed silent; there wasn't much he could say at this point.

Hidan frowned, contemplating his next words and actions with more precision then he had with anything else in his lifetime. _'Well, all, in all…' _he decided, '_I got nothing to loose.'_ So with that thought he stood on his feet, Kakuzu become rigid realizing Hidan was coming closer to him (_since when was he so tense around people? Especially Hidan._), walking to the others side he grabbed Kakuzu's face with both his hands like he had before earlier that day, and pushed his lips to Kakuzu's clothed mouth roughly, eyes shutting tightly.

Kakuzu made no qualms to move or stop Hidan, and when the silver-haired man pulled away and looked down at him slightly annoyed, Kakuzu only blinked a few times and stared. They both stood there in silence for a few moments until Kakuzu's limbs decided to start working again.

Reaching up a hand, Kakuzu gently hooked his hand behind Hidan's neck and pulled him down-Hidan obliged without complaint-rolling off the mask Kakuzu pressed his mouth to Hidan's once more, this time gentler.

Hidan's eyes slid shut as he relaxed into the kiss, one hand pressing against Kakuzu's shoulder to keep himself balanced, who knew Kakuzu could actually _do_ gentle?

For now, this was as far as they would get tonight; both were tired and would rather sleep.

And as Hidan lay there in Kakuzu's arms, he couldn't help but notice that all the questions that had been in his mind, seemed non-existent now.

Owari

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A/n: I gotta say…not good with endings o:: O But whatever, it's my story so I can make the ending however I want it! So ha!...Right, well, I haven't updated in a million years or so, but I had a really bad creative spill, lot of crap happens and you loose interest, not that I'm emo and/or was at any point but yeah…

Well, my creativities' reached a high point, I think that's because of a friend, so I thank him! Whee! I'm awesome, that's all I gotta say! (And if peoples don't like this ending I might add another chapter to make things better).

PS. I gotta stop making the chapters so short…


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